Trevor sat in wait. The door screamed it’s opening and there he was. Nobby !! that was is real name it was told, but those out of ear shot of any eyes, walls or other beings called him – “slippery back” he slid across the room after the door let him through. He stank a bit, quacked a grunt and did what normal humans would call sit down, but in his case it was a squash and a squelch, as he hit the seat’s firm grasp.
“Spludger me Nubleous! What in the shit are you doing on that space palace ? are any of the humans still alive and have you got the oen yet ?”
Trevor started to answer, but ended up farting a loud, sharp and smelly retort that scared Nobby witless. This really broke the mood and gave rise to a new expression in corporate Mumblet meetings … “Trevulate and die”. Nobby quacked and screamed at the same time and demanded an apology. Trevor did and then proceeded to explain the goings on in the palace.
Trevor had two minutes of excruciatingly long embarrassment to endure before Nobby finally replied. It took that long for Nobby to think, he wasn’t the quickest, but he was by far the cruelest and that is what he was made for. To exact revenge and apply extreme punishment to those employees that deserved it and that was most of them.
“So we have the oen and we have two humans left alive is that right ?”
“What have you done with that Kevin, is it still ravaging around the ship ?”
“Yes sir but he won’t be for long as he’s been set to self decay within one year.”
“So you’ve got a Kevin creature with a year to go, two humans hiding from him while on their way to trumular 7, is that it right Nubleous, is that the best you can do ? what the “kiddle” were you thinking, a year !! – could you not have set it for two days or something equally sensible ?”
“Yes sir … Trevor was not feeling very well and felt some more serious flatulence building and gaining some momentum. This fart, if it happened could be the last thing he ever did. Trevor squirmed, Nobby thought and all the while Moony and Carol shipped on regardless. Their next major difficulty would be to get from the module to the funnel in one piece.
Thanks to their wild ructions and the demise of Robert, there was a great deal of mess to get through.
Nobby left Trevor with a bad taste in his mouth, a stench in his nostrils and a stain on his chair. All in all, it wasn’t the worst that could have happened. Nobby had been known to dissect his cause of annoyance with a laser knife and spread the remains all over the nearest wall, Trevor’s wall remained spotless.
Although Carol couldn’t say the same for the smouldering module, it was a mess. Moony was snoring as they waited for the corridor to be clear of all things Kevin.
“Hey, wake up Moony”
“Hmmm yes, i’m awake .. Although he didn’t seem so. He grabbed himself in such a way that only a man can and stretched his weary bones and shrinking muscles into shape.”
“What’s happening, is the corridor clear ? are we off then.”
“I’ve had a look and it looks ok, are you ready ?”
“Well yeah lets’s go. We’re off to the funnel right ? “
“That’s what the message said, and looking at the state of that freaky creature thing we’d better hurry up.”Kevin was running out of corridor to check and in it’s own way decided to backtrack itself and see what it could find. Recalling that close call in corridor nine, maybe “he” should cut through to there again. The decision was made and the leg things worked their magic, so off “he” went. Carol and Moony escaped this time with no cliched close call, or a fright or even an inkling that there was any chance of being “Kevined” – as it turned out “he” hadn’t turned up and missed them by two hours. No close call, no call at all. The alarming thing for the super breeders was confronting the front, back and sides, as in within, without and backsides of Robert. His high heel shoes glistened in the goop and guts. They were waterproof after all, Robert would have been so pleased.
“Is this all that’s left of Robert ?”
“Well hopefully it is, because if he’s still moving about he wont be feeling so good, or much help to us.”
“Don’t be a wally Moony, this is terrible, even though he was such a wanker he didn’t deserve this ending.”
Talking of endings, they had to step though certain parts of him, they’d regret for years, it was disgusting but they had to get into the funnel. well through the door they slopped and made their way to two of the three chairs/stations. Their surprise was palpable, their hearts leapt and their throats sighed .. the ship had taken control and set the course they thought they were there to set. trumular 7 was the next stop, whether they wanted or not, of course they wanted to, they were told to go there.
Meanwhile, Trevor had gathered his senses and sent a self destruct message to Kevin. Poor old Kevin suddenly decided to change corridors again and headed for the rubbish portal on deck three. he pressed the entry button, stepped inside and then smacked the emergency empty button. the poor old creature just evaporated into space, screaming and weeing like a firehouse, the oddly shaped stains on the side of the ship could never be removed.
So there they were, Carol and Moony, blessed with nothing much to do, no apparent danger, or so they thought, they tumbled into another round of love making that lasted for days. the ship was very interested in this act and the fast approaching craft that had appeared on it’s starboard side. it was well confused, but this was the right side. there would be nothing right about it. History would show that Moony and Carol were very much the beginning. they were the beginning of the end. those that cared about their life, should have been very pleased that those two “less than startling” minds of 2140 had got together and endured the chaos of the space palace in the stars.
After all Moony wasn’t supposed to be captain. he was a polite pilot. he was an unfortunate participant, stumbling his way through no end of drama and intrigue, although it could be said, he knew nothing about the intrigue. blissfully unaware. Carol on the other hand was a little smarter and ended up using the chain of events to her best advantage.