As you teetered down the corridors, you came across the rather odd eyes. These eyes were the openings to which the ships computer adjusted those things that needed adjusting. The eyes were everywhere, they watched, heard and dealt with anything that wandered about, human or machine. In addition to the eyes, each wall along these access corridors exuded an odour, not dissimilar to a footballer’s change room, or to be more precise, the laundry basket of such a place that had been missed for a few weeks.
It was also a life threatening event if you ever got lost in these corridors. The computer regularly checked for unwanted things and if it somehow thought it didn’t want you, which happened far too often, it would eject you from the palace. It happened to Moony once, but he was able to argue his right of presence and managed to convince the computer that he should remain. The rather crapulous lighting and connected wiring in these out of human areas was also a dangerous concern. The wiring was alive and it was always on a search for new materials. If you slowed down too much or in the name of the company stopped, it would have you. Not in a nice way either, it would rip you apart and absorb what bits it had just created. Nasty stuff and the remaining three humans did not wish to die that way, so they kept moving about, at an alarmingly pace.
Trevor Nubleous had designed the palace with scrupulous attention to detail and all of the nasty side of things were deliberate, he had a secret to hide and the unpleasant nature of the non human parts were designed to keep the nosey buggers away. If they slowed down they might learn a little something, so that’s why the wiring was created to rip them a new one and then absorb the evidence.
Moony did as he was told, but when he calmed down he wondered where Carol and Robert had got to.
Carol sat in the dark and wondered whether she’s escaped the eyes and that terribly violent and live wiring that had attacked her. The wiring caught the faux Moony, ( i.e the clone of Robert that looked like Moony ) in such a way that it really swept Carol up in to a whirlwind of wonder and awe. It also pushed her three corridor sections away during the frenzied attack on the clone. That saved her life.
The long tentacles of death had grabbed the clone and searched for the mouth. As the clone construction had inadvertently switched the mouth and anus about, the wiring paused for a second at the head and while not knowing what was confronting it, continued on it’s preprogrammed search for the mouth. It thought that the best and easiest was to simply force it’s way down through the opening in the head and find the mouth that way. Unfortunately for the clone, and for Carol as she watched this evisceration, it searched for the mouth by engorging it’s way down it’s digestive tract, entering the topside heading for the backside.
This messy process only got worse when it found the mouth and realised that it had gone the wrong way so it returned back from whence it came and made the whole hole that much wider. The sadly confused wiring had carried out this u turn about 5 times before the clone could withstand no more, in fact not only couldn’t it stand, it had become a pool of the goopy resin that makes up the clone flesh and a pile of the electronics that the wiring had no use for. A shinny pile of unwanted life in a metallic form.
Carol had to figure out what to do. She had to run, hide, give up or fight. As it turned out Moony offered the answer and a way out. The public address system was remarkable on the space palace, it had a targeted audience feature that would automatically locate the intended recipient and broadcast the message there. It didn’t matter which or who, it changed it’s system to meet the need. Carol’s good fortune was that Moony had sent out a broadcast and as the local wiring had made such a meal of the clone, it was a mess. The ships automatic eye system in trying to carry out it’s normal duties suddenly determined that the messy wiring, the flesh resin and the spare electrics wriggling in a thriving mess on the floor was unwanted and it simply targeted it, sent it to the disposal section and ejected the whole bloody thing out into the black. Carol was suddenly free to explain her presence and when the eyes had it, she answered Moony call.
“What the fuck is going on Moony ?”
“Well there you are – where’s Robert ?”
Carol had now idea as to Robert’s location, she didn’t want to know and simply didn’t care.
Please come to the main control Carol, we’ve a message from Mumblet and i have some very sexy news.
Of course Carol wasn’t feeling particularly sexy, in fact that would be the last thing she was feeling just now. She was covered in a slime, a visual image and a smell that would take many years to wash off. She wondered whether she could ever feel sexy again.
Moony had sent out his broadcast for both Carol and Robert and sat waiting like a young man being taken to a pleasure module for the first time. Not for Robert’s response of course but for Carol, he was ordered to breed, have sex, dance the horizontal folk dance, rub ugly bits and just plain old fornicate with the lady of all ladies – Carol. Gee it was going to be fun, but after so long it might not be fun for that long.
Again he say’s to himself, again with the lack of performance line, he should be more confident and less smutty and find a clean uniform to put on, so that when it comes off, it won’t set off the hygiene alarms.
One of the annoying, yet somewhat exciting features in inheriting the title of the “odd knob who blogs” was that Moony had to learn the bass guitar. This quaint term described an ancient musical instrument from earth that had a number of strings stretched over a section of wood called a neck, that fit snugly into a larger piece with knobs in it, labeled a body. His was black and had four strings and one neck, but nowadays bass guitars had eighteen strings and three necks. In 2030 a new musical theory was invented or stolen as the scandal exposed, into requiring more strings and necks, the number of keys on a piano and the on-off and open-closed paddles on the weird range of brass instruments. The piano became the instrument of the obscenely wealthy, as no one had the space to house a piano. A planet had been re-occupied by Mumblet to build these creakingly big boxes with so many keys and strings.
Moony had never even listened to music prior to becoming the knob, he’d thought it a waste of time, even though time was able to be manipulated, he found no time to assign time to the flippant joy of music. Now though, he couldn’t get enough. Tbaoo had a long tradition of posting classic videos of the musical kind. In learning the bass, he thought, this choice of music may develop into new territory. He might even make some of his own. The best thing he’d done was to start at the beginning, this old video was so much at the beginning he wondered if he’d still be alive at the end, he started and the start started with an “e”, an open “e” at that.
Now where’s that wanker Robert, Carol’s on here way and i don’t want to be interrupted by Robert when and if he gets here. Moony chatted to himself a lot these days. Now in 4/4 time.
Http://Youtu.Be/w7xdgihzro4 was where he found the video and he watched it over and over again, he actually wondered what a belt buckle was. Must be important but what does it mean
It was 21.45 and Moony sat there staring at the communications module. It sat there as well although it didn’t know any different, it didn’t have any legs of wheels with which to move it’s self about. So if it could be described so, it just sat there. Having Moony staring at it didn’t really bother it either as all of the beings in all of the places, happened to stare at it and it’s cousins.
Moony was waiting for 22.00 Hours and the follow up broadcast from Trevor Nubleous. The dog part of him really spooked Moony, he’d had a dog as a child and it looked so much like Trevor it was freaky. Had Moony known that his dog actually was an ancestor of Trevor’s he’d be even more freaked out.