Mupps Farm 4

It really was a tight little community in Mullimboy. The Local Government office was a hotbed of incestuous employment opportunities and inter-office relationships. Nepotism reigned supreme. So much so the local paper the Mullimboy Daily News, one of the lame arsed names for a newspaper, ran weekly updates of the comings and goings. The comings were sniggered at while the goings usually followed a court case involving corruption in contracts, supply and favours and the like.

The tales of supposedly well-educated men and women would boil water if the whole truth was revealed, but snippets of info concerning those educated folk and the outdoor staff were enough for the locals. It was too much for the Mayor of course. Warren Silver was a complete buffoon who managed to convince the muppets who voted that he was worthy of the lofty office, chains, robes and the new Range Rover Evoque the Council provided.

Warren had an assistant who was so much a sycophant that even Warren was embarrassed. The aim of the personal assistant was pretty clear but Roger had lifted it to a new level of servitude. Once at the conclusion of an incredibly rambunctious community meeting Waren and Roger left in a slight scream of wheels and headed back to the office. As often with men of a certain age, an urgent need to pee hit on the way. As this evacuation came to a close the rather helpful Roger lent in to provide the last shake as his master concluded a vigorous phone call. Warren put a firm stop to that behaviour and identified strict boundaries for Roger to remain behind. It worked. Roger was able to stay on his side of the grovelling barrier. He did so with an increasing amount of satisfaction.

Robert knew nothing of the world, other than details and experiences gathered from school, home life and his father. Charlie and Sally were the source of truth, the setting of the moral compass and the explanation of things seen and heard in any news Robert happened to see or hear. There was a news crew at the farm once and Robert was fascinated, so much so the crew involved him in the story. Charlie and Sally managed to remain off camera. Their voiceovers were used but the only Robertson on camera was young Robert. Crap from school was just that, but the perspective and training to identify nonsense, gossip and exaggerate ration was provided by Charlie.

Having returned to the house to rustle lunch and successfully reaching the ringing landline phone, Sally yelled out to Charlie.

“It’s Warren asking for another favour.”

Charlie hit the flashing extension button on the Meat Hut’s system … “what’s holding up your pants Warren?”

“Not much this morning, Roger’s in a meeting, you cheeky fucker, could you please reconsider joining the Business Leaders Alliance (BLA)? we need clever buggers like you to drive things along and what’s more, you’ll be rewarded by the good burghers of Mullimboy and you may well sell heaps more meat”

“Warren I can’t do it mate, I’ve got extensions to the Meat Hut and accreditation for the American market coming up and just don’t have the time or headspace to offer the focus required. I’m sorry but up to my armpits in slaughtered meat just at the minute. I’ll see you later on in the week, but I can’t be joining the BLA.

Alright, Warren mumbled, see ya.”

Ok mate – cheers … Charlie prepared to commence today’s training session. He wasn’t lying about the American market but the application and so-called accreditation or acceptance of the offer wasn’t for supplying meat. I was for turning good humans into meat.

Robert grabbed the knife as instructed and like the Police talking out their driving in a pursuit, turn left, change up to third hear, approaching roundabout etc, Robert quoted the steps he’d learnt and with a will to follow one after the other he started on one. The huge cow-eyed calf had no idea of what was happening and simply stared at the freshly cleaned white wall as the life drain out if it.

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