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Month: December 2016

Last drinks for the 4

There remained 4 desperate men sitting at the bar. The Fat Pigeon pub had shut but they’d been granted a lock-in for no reason in particular. The publican Peter, left them nursing their fresh pints while he dizzied about sorting out spirit bottles, the drip trays, slop buckets and bar towels. He discretely hid the day’s takings in the very mysterious container that sat frightening patrons on the top shelf all day long. It was a bust of Peter’s bare torso, his portly stomach and huge man boobs, moulded from and for him the last time he was in Amsterdam. This thing even had some faux chest hair and a small pimple just to add to the realism. 

Robyn the Queen and the Gnomes

Robyn was lovely, not only did she always seem to be thinking lovely thoughts, she actually gave off lovely vibes and wondrously lovely aromas to all those lucky enough to be near her. Lovely was an overused description in the capital, an insult, but out here in the woodland, it remained a great compliment and sought after virtue. 

Is that for me

The adults only email arrived in Mary’s inbox with a ping. A fucking big ping. In fact, this racy email discussed some rather biological uses for her vagina and mentioned the phrase “a little something in your inbox” in a very suggestive and fulfilling way. It did add the word huge a little later in the text. Very festive and very rewarding – it was Christmas after all.

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