ajm crawford

some very odd short stories, rants, music and my ramblings

Young lovers looking backward


There wasn’t much that could be said. The date had reached is natural conclusion, it wasn’t as either thought it would be. The interrupted coitus spoke volumes about young lovers living at home. Not their home but their parents home. Both had very observant, keenly interfering, slightly prudish oldies and both had rebelled as young folks do every-where, every-time.  (more…)

Week Warren


Note from Warren … he’s going to start a personal blog. www.blogofwarren.com. An outpouring of his deepest held beliefs and thoughts. Please consider this a draft of such literary masterpiece’ry. The first or third person and/or tense may get a bit confusing, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out – alan


The Doctor and Ralph


My balls hurt, that could be a wonderful start to the next story. The Doctor wanted to write about a realistic scenario and thought that Ralph’s life might be just that. Ralph’s latest outburst may be just the thing. He’s an ageing man that thinks he’ll survive without applying any care. Ralph was wrong of course. (more…)

The Thing that Happened


An incredible thing had happened. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. The thing that happened watched from its fourth eye on the left side. It was the one on the end of the slippery blueish stork that popped out when it thought that danger was afoot. Although it had no feet, it had a propulsion system built upon millions of years of what the Earth’s main occupants called Evolution. These occupants were on their last days, but they had no idea.  (more…)

The Forborne Posturer


I’m going to change my ways. No more writing cynical, heavily filtered perceptions. No more judgmental nonsense. Wendy thought this would make a great inspirational poster, maybe even an adjustment to her own life, one that she should apply. The blog she ran was becoming bloated with such observations. The comments came less and less and the shares were her’s alone.  (more…)

Jerry has a Headache


Jerry has a bad headache. A very bad headache and he’s had one for what seemed to be months on end. He takes drugs, legal drugs and still struggles to get through a day without needing more. So many things he thinks are causing this physical infirmity. The main one he thought would be the posture difficulties caused by his ever increasing tubby stance and slouching.  (more…)

How not to park your car


“Maybe I should just disappear into another part of the world and not be seen again.” .. “What do you think Helen? stave off any repercussions, run away, tactful retreat – I mean – just piss off and not come back, and hide from the Police” (more…)

Thinking on the train


Allison was enduring the train routine. With her this morning on the ride home from work was Amanda with whom she shared an overnight shift. Amanda was very nice but as dumb as a beach towel sitting in the bottom of the washing machine waiting to be pulled out and encouraged to dry. Wet, twisted dumb. Medically identified as such.  (more…)

Last drinks for the 4


There remained 4 desperate men sitting at the bar. The Fat Pigeon pub had shut but they’d been granted a lock-in for no reason in particular. The publican Peter, left them nursing their fresh pints while he dizzied about sorting out spirit bottles, the drip trays, slop buckets and bar towels. He discretely hid the day’s takings in the very mysterious container that sat frightening patrons on the top shelf all day long. It was a bust of Peter’s bare torso, his portly stomach and huge man boobs, moulded from and for him the last time he was in Amsterdam. This thing even had some faux chest hair and a small pimple just to add to the realism.  (more…)

Robyn the Queen and the Gnomes


Robyn was lovely, not only did she always seem to be thinking lovely thoughts, she actually gave off lovely vibes and wondrously lovely aromas to all those lucky enough to be near her. Lovely was an overused description in the capital, an insult, but out here in the woodland, it remained a great complement and sought after virtue.  (more…)